Welcome, everyone! I’m Sol, and today I’m going to teach you how to actualize your best game every single time you play.
Recently, I had a discussion with a player at my table about the last game session they played. They told me, “I’m really down because I just made so many mistakes and wasn’t playing at my best.” Over the years, I have heard similar refrains from people playing or running, and I will admit I catch myself thinking it too. My experience and education have given me a lot of tools to solve this problem, and I want to share that solution with you.
If you are not familiar with my background, click here, but in brief, I am a lifelong gamer and a professional health educator. I have years of experience helping people and some strong beliefs about this subject.
The first and most important thing I can tell you is that I do not believe you.
I believe in you. I do not believe that you did not do your best.
My friend was exhausted. He had worked 60 hours, taken care of a sick partner, drove half an hour to my place, and played his heart out for 5 hours.
Was it as good a game for him as he has ever brought to the table? Heck no! Was it everything he could share with us at that moment? Yes, yes, it was! He did his best, and I believe that everyone reading this right now is doing their best. You might not match what you have done before or what you want to achieve, but you are doing as much as possible for yourself right now.
The second thing I want to share is that the feeling like you are underperforming or letting people down comes from your passion and love for gaming.
You are invested in your game and the others that contribute to it. This is a powerful tool that can cut both ways. It can fuel negative feelings of shame, guilt, or embarrassment just as easily as it can power your confidence, competence, and success.
It is amazingly easy for us to be critical of ourselves and say, “Gosh, if this is my best, then even my best will never be good enough!” Don’t fall for that trap. Pause and identify those feelings. Gently remind yourself that your best will change from day to day, and that is normal. Changing that internal voice takes time, practice, and patience, but it will go a long way (even outside of gaming).
Play deliberately and intentionally.
Whatever you play, whether it is video games, tabletop roleplaying games, or sports, do it with deliberate intention. What I mean by that is take a moment before you get started and think about—feel about—what you are about to do. Visualize the fun you will have, imagine what great play looks like for you, and center your mind and emotions on that.
Have a clear goal in mind for what you need to do to enjoy the upcoming game. Visualization of a deliberate outcome is a powerful tool for success in sports, business, and gaming. You can frame success as “having fun” and move towards that goal with purpose.
Frame success as having fun and the rest takes care of itself.
Visualizing having fun will look quite different depending on what you are playing and who you are!
Maybe you imagine getting done with some board games and the sense of satisfaction as everyone helps put the game away and laughs about a particular turn. If you play video games, maybe the fun you imagine is playing a tough match with your friends and getting in some clutch moments, whether you win or lose. For my role-players, maybe your vision of fun is a deep moment with another character or an exciting combat with an ogre.
Whatever you visualize, do not frame it as a binary win/lose. Imagine it as a positive emotional outcome.
Joy lives in the present, don’t be a stranger.
Every time you play, be present. It can be said that fear lives in the future and regret lives in the past, but joy lives in the present. Being in the moment allows you to spend your energy on having the most fun possible and delivering on your personal best.
Remind yourself that the game is here and now, and so are you. Center your concentration on the time you are enjoying and avoid spending energy on how you could have done better or how the next moments will be best spent.
The time will pass either way. You may as well be there when it passes, right?
Cut out distractions like your phone and close out other tabs on your computer if you are playing virtually. Some people practice meditation before a game to strengthen their ability to focus. (This trick sees a lot of use in sports currently!)
You will know best what tends to bring you out of focus on the game. Try noticing those moments, jotting down what pulled you away, and removing those distractions where possible in the future.
As a coach and educator, I see a lot of advice end about here. “You have the tools, go get ‘em, tiger!”
These are all big changes that require profound mindset shifts, so I am going to do more than other blogs do. I will help you implement those tools in a practical follow-up article on establishing a pre-play ritual.
If you enjoyed this article and found it helpful, please support me by joining my Patreon or tossing me a tip on ko-fi. You can find games I have developed on itch as well.
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